- Accepting not everybody is going to understand your OCD. I know very little about bipolar, BPD, GAD, eating disorders etc. and yet people who suffer with those are fighting battles just as big as ours. As much as we crave understanding from everyone, it’s impossible to empathize and put yourself in position of someone with OCD if you have not yourself experienced it. I would have struggled a huge amount with understanding POCD prior to experiencing it. We can absolutely educate, but demanding that people understand and getting angry when they misuse OCD terms is unhelpful. It’s important to remember that as far as awareness and support for OCD goes, we are living in the most fortunate time.
- Realizing it’s more than okay to make mistakes in life, and sometimes encouraging loss of control is good for recovery. We love to believe that our anxiety prevents us from doing any wrong doing and we think that we are completely unworthy if we ever make mistakes. We are all fallible humans and are allowed to mess up. I have been through phases of avoiding alcohol due to fear of losing control and hurting people I love. In reality though everybody loses some degree of control when drunk; they argue, say things they regret, cheat, fall out with friends etc. and they move on. You can dislike actions you’ve performed and aim to better yourself in the future but there is no need to feel chronic guilt for mistakes you’ve made and avoid living your life like everyone else does. I’ve even found that allowing myself to mess up from time to time has really helped me develop my unconditional self-acceptance.
- Take it for the ride, take it for the ride and take it for the ride. Lying in bed every day and ruminating over your obsessions is never going to bring you relief. OCD gets off to our avoidance and breeds like rabbits if we allow it. Through suffering with derealization I often thought, “What’s the point?” to every invite, event, or activity I could think of and obsessed about how “awful” it would be if I went to x, y or z and felt like nothing was real. The reality is far less scary than OCD tells us and you really just have to do it anyway. The worst I was going to feel was uncomfortable, and I’ve felt that many times and funnily enough I’m still here to tell the tale. I look back now though and I’m so thankful I did everything anyway – so what if someone thought I was off or seemed anxious or quiet? The more you wait around for the sensations to leave before you live your life the longer you’ll be waiting. OCD isn’t going anywhere fast. Get up and get it done.
- Accept exactly where you are right now. We often feel like having OCD is the worst thing we could have in the entire world. Like we would take anyone’s position over the position we are in right now. This is such an irrational belief which leads us to desperately chasing for a way out – like we absolute can’t stand where we are now. The truth is there are people out there in much worse positions than us. Starving, dying of cancer, homeless. and some of these people will suffer with OCD on top of all that! We don’t choose our brains, we get what we are given, so we better accept that this is ours and be grateful there’s things we can do to help. The more you chase recovery and demand that feeling of relief, the further it runs. Accept this is where you are today and understand that it could be worse.
- You don’t need to confess every thought and obsession you have. I spent so long confessing to my dad every intrusive thought I had and it never felt “quite right” unless he knew everything. Not only is this a huge compulsion but it leads to a heap load of reassurance from our loved ones too. Sometimes it’s a good idea to just sit in that uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty. Maybe this one is OCD, maybe it isn’t. Maybe someone has thought this before, maybe they haven’t. Even during therapy/coaching, it is not essential to tell your coach absolutely everything you are thinking for recovery. They’re usually good at spotting when you are confessing but sometimes a bit of self-restraint is needed. Your OCD tools work for every thought you could possibly have.
