If you are looking for anyone’s approval, you’ve lost. They hold those keys, and aren’t obligated to relinquish them.
Friends, family, partners – if you are desperate for them to see things in a certain way, you have entered a no-win scenario.
Many humans will choose not to see it rationally, and choose to treat you unfairly regardless.
Why? Seeing it rationally will give you power, and they may not want to do that. Equally, a crowd can operate on the same dynamic. The crowd can choose not to listen to rational thinking.
In school, for example, a group of three might treat you badly, not two. Why? The three has a power dynamic that rewards two of them to be cruel to you. It tightens their bond. Don’t expect to flip that through a sudden change of perspective.
Learning to see things rationally – the first step is what? Admitting you have a problem and you need to change your thinking.
A large portion of the population don’t want to take step one.
Take today’s world – most young people are struggling in careers and relationships. AI and tech have changed both landscapes, and are getting faster. You speak to the average 20-year-old male, he’s terrified of rejection and lives behind a screen. Getting him to risk speaking to females in public and letting go of his phone is a mammoth task. But when he’s no longer happy, he’s willing to change. Why? This generation is more open to change, but equally quick to take extreme views to block out pain – also common.
Inner peace comes from giving up approval seeking from anyone. If you want a relationship from hell, try to control your partner’s mood and force them to see things. Your partner doesn’t belong to you, your kids don’t belong to you – they are humans that you are side by side sharing time with for now. You can guide, but you don’t own. Most relationship and family dynamic problems kick in where some sort of ownership is incorrectly perceived.
Control is where anxiety and anger stem from. More control on you, more anger and anxiety. More control over others, the more anger and anxiety you fester.
Controlling partners and parents are making errors, but you have the choice to accept the errors of their ways and allow yourself internal freedom.
Don’t expect a controlling partner or parent to notice this error. To them it isn’t an error, it’s a tool that’s worked.
Insight into these dynamics will change your life – then you can end up single forever 😜 (joke). You’ll see what you want, and don’t want.