My first session with Nick was in October 2024. At that time, I was consumed by existential dread, mostly related to solipsism and the constant doubt over my own reality. I thought I was losing my mind and was constantly grappling with life. I had tried different therapies, going from psychoanalysis to mindfulness to ERP, but their ineffectiveness ended up leaving me hopeless.

I remember coming across OCD Recovery online at a time when I felt so low I could barely leave my house. I was so scared of my feelings of derealization and solipsist thoughts that I would only go to the same places, the ones that felt very familiar: from my house to work, back to my house. I was losing my sense of self. My relationship with my partner was deeply affected. I retreated into my own bubble while my mind felt completely out of my control.

During our first call with Nick, I remember having the feeling that someone was finally giving me meaningful instructions. Knowing what to work on from the start was so helpful. It gave me much-needed direction in my chaotic race to get better. Nick used different examples and metaphors to help change my rigid beliefs. It was like he planted little seeds that would eventually grow into new perspectives, with time and effort on my side.

He made me understand that the goal was to accept everything that was happening to me, while slowly changing my perspective by being consistent, and not compulsive, with the exercises. Nick helped me get out of this prison I had created for myself. I will always remember when he asked me to drive an hour away from my house, with no music and no distraction in the car. It seemed impossible, yet it became an important step in the long and arduous journey of recovery.

It is not easy, but it is the most worthwhile experience I have ever had. And not only to recover from OCD, as it also taught me philosophical lessons to live a more rational and wiser life overall.

Now, more than a year later, my life has changed. I still have fears to work on and some hidden compulsions related to other themes, but I am confident in my recovery journey and eager to keep putting into practice the lifelong tools given by the OCD Recovery team.

I am no longer afraid to leave my house or to step into the world. In fact, I have just come back from a one-month trip to Cambodia. Travelling and learning about the world is something I absolutely loved before suffering with OCD, and thanks to the coaching with Nick and the amazing support group, I was able to find the path back to that part of me.

I do not have any definite answers to my existential questions. I do not know what is real and what is not. I do not know the exact meaning of life. But it is my relationship to uncertainty that has changed, and I will never thank Nick enough for that.

I will always be grateful to him and the rest of the team, as well as for the support and insights I gained from other people with OCD through the WhatsApp group.

Merci to all of you ❤️🙏